On a Card's Edge
Re: Who want’s to go gambling?
Hello, my Sexy Subjects,
Apologies for the clickbait subject line, but thought it would get someone’s attention. I’ve got a tip straight from the city that never sleeps: good old Macau. If you follow the professional poker scene like I do – by forgetting to turn the Trideo off when taking a connection to the bedroom and coming back into the living room at 4AM to find the World Series of Poker is on – then you know that the No Limit High Drek Side Frag Hold That Take A Penny Leave A Penny tournament is coming up. What you wouldn’t know about is the impending scandal: cheating.
Now I’m not talking about your garden variety mafia controlled dealers stacking the decks, boring old competing casino bosses using warring Technomancers to alter the shuffling algorithms, or even the classic quickened spell designed to increase luck. No, that’s all expected, and the NLHDSFHTTAPLAP tournaments all employ physical, matrix, and astral security to counter it. What you can’t counter is pure, unfiltered luck, and someone playing in this tournament is going to have it.
You want a name, gender, or metatype? You don’t get one. All we know is this person, who I’m going to call Tom because he’s probably a dick, has cleaned out casinos and poker players from Monaco to Vegas. There are too many reports to ignore it. You don’t complete a 2-6 Straight Flush on the River five times without someone noticing a pattern. Problem is, all of the video footage of Tom has been corrupted, stolen, or lost, any paper trail tracking his plane flights has gone missing, and the individuals who were around him when he performed these miracles all suffered accidents resulting in short term memory loss – one of the dealers had a chandelier fall on his head!
There’s at least one bit of good news, though – everyone swindled by Tom has mentioned something orange in their stories. Some remember Tom eating an orange (why not an apple? My guess is an orange makes him look like even more of an unwashed troll’s hoop). Others remember his distinct orange tan, or orange hair. Others remember the very green card table they were playing at being made of vibrant orange felt. I’m sure the violent chandelier damage they suffered didn’t help, but orange is a consistent theme, and we’ve been able to use these stories to track his progress from the Quatar to Monaco to Las Vegas. Macau is the most logical next stop.
I know for sure Tom is going to be at the NLHDSFHTTAPLAP, because I’ve slept with many people like him, and he’s going to be too arrogant not to gun for the largest purse in the professional gambling circuit. You’d think cheating at an event of this scale would make him lots of enemies, but none of his enemies in all the other gambling capitals of the world have yet to catch him. With some Xilonba artifact research of your own, though, his luck might finally run out.
Don’t let me down, or else! XOXO.
- The Duchess